Dirty Laundry is a comedic exploration of the day-to-day life of six family members: a mom and dad (Kelly Jo Little, Rick Horner), their two children (Molly Scullion, David Donnella), and the mother’s two older sisters (Susan LaPalombara, Mary Eklund). Played by cast members whose real-life ages match that of the characters, Dirty Laundry is a realistic and funny inside view of a typical Philadelphia family. Directed by Steve Kleinedler.
In honor of this month’s Dirty Laundry show, on Saturday March 5th 7:30 P.M., the Pinwright Family has kindly put together a newsletter to get us wonderfully up to date with their busy lives.
Dear Friends and Family,
Time again for one of our famous PF Chang’s! (Pinwright Family Catch-up, Holiday Annual Newsletter Gleaners for you first-timers!) As usual, as you read this, some of you will write back, saying you consider this late for the 2015 Holiday. We can’t please everyone, and we can’t make everyone like us. Or to put it another way, as Katie Couric says, “You can’t please everyone, and you can’t make everyone like you.” What a season. The dark leaves have started secluding the light, and Connie and Bob will Netflix and chill with Elaine and Peg for the next several months. Wait, now Bob is being told “don’t write Netflix and chill, Dad” by both Haley and Marcus. Well, whatever, then, we will binge-watch and purge. By the way, if you plan to buy instead of make holiday items, keep your fingers crossed that when you get gifts from Amazon, they finally use the Tamper Resistant Carton (United States Patent Application 20150048151) that Bob submitted. Isn’t it funny, how OSHA inspection# 313802720 at the Hub Folding Box Company is such a great example of how our lives intertwine?
Connie says we have to hold each other precious. Connie says if a fall off a forklift causing a slight amputation won’t bring us all together, well, what will!?!!? Prayers for Sam Pepper btw. Bob says together we are a huge fuse box, and each year is yet another colorful outdoor electrical wire (builder’s grade). Speaking of, one of Bob’s favorite holiday sweaters came apart in the dryer, thanks to Haley angrily laundering a textbook (Mader’s Biology) to prove suffrage was wrong. Marcus offered to fix it when he was home, but then became suddenly, immediately blasé. Elaine and Peg are healing nicely from their burns, and they say “hello” and “our hair is growing back” (thank you for not leveraging a penalty on the early withdrawal from the burn fund, Mansfield Bank!)
Peg and Madge decided to greet the New Year at a powerlifting competition in Las Vegas. They are both looking for some new hobbies and ways to get into better shape in 2016!
Elaine wanted to point out that Bob made her write something for the PF Chang (who reads these anyway, she said), so here it goes. The winter really sucked. Marcus and Elaine took a road trip to visit Haley at Lehigh in February (in a Zipcar (neither of them own a car) and Connie didn’t trust them to drive her minivan, haha, just joking Con) and they got stuck with a flat tire on the PA turnpike. No spare. (Good thing because Marcus and Elaine don’t know how to change a tire, hahaha). Bob had to come bail them out. Yes, friends and family, Bob is still the handyman and rock of the family. (He still looks great in his short, short running shorts from high school track, too, Stacey! Sorry Bob, it had to be said.)
Summer presented its own set of challenges. With the specter of Haley leaving for college looming over us all, we had decided to rent a cabin in the Poconos for a family retreat. Peg was the first to back out, deciding instead to go motorcycling in the Bonneville Salt Flats with Madge. Marcus was next, saying he couldn’t possibly pick out a new bathing suit in time. We left it at that. Elaine had already committed to accompanying her boyfriend to meet his biological mother for the first time. A week before the trip, Connie and Bob had to ground Haley for failing to adequately pack for college. (Haley’s claims that there was a month and half until move-in day went unheeded, as did her protest that an 18-year old is un-groundable.) This of course subsequently lead to Connie backing out so that she could supervise Haley’s packing. Faced with staying in Poconos by himself for a week, Bob elected instead to stay home and finally fix that pitching machine he’s had in the garage for the better part of a decade.
Haley dropped out of college, btw, and moved in with Elaine, so that’s sort of good news, at least for the two of them. Don’t worry though Connie keeps them well stocked with casseroles and baked ziti. Also, Elaine is to blame for all of this.(Don’t get rid of that part, Bob. Aunt Dot will get a kick out of it. And it’s true, the blame part that it wasn’t my fault). Nobody said anything about Haley dropping out for awhile which definitely didn’t help the whole “crisis” situation she was going through, but now she is doing pretty well–playing soccer again and running. She is working at City Sports where a manager is leaving soon and we all think she will get her job when that happens. “Thank God she (Aunt Elaine) let me move in,” Haley said. “I love my mom dearly, but absence makes the heart keep a normal and good amount of fondness for her.” Haley does want to go back to school soon, but right now feels good. Haley feels good.
Oh yeah—Connie and Elaine planned a surprise birthday party for Peg at Outback Steakhouse but Peg’s best friend Madge RUINED IT by telling her about it. (We know you did this on purpose Madge—Connie and I saw the email when we were looking through Peg’s inbox). It was a great party anyway, no thanks to Madge. Peg doesn’t look a day over 50 and is a great catch, so call her up guys. (Not you, Karl, you burned that bridge, but some of you other high school guys!) Connie is becoming more like mom every day, may she rest in peace. (Elaine means this in all the best ways, Connie!) Elaine is still the disappointing mess you all remember, but for some reason the family hasn’t disowned her! (Hahaha. No, it’s all good. Lots of Pinwright love all around. Did I do okay with this, Bob?)
Oh how Connie loves fall! She remembers collecting leaves with Haley and Marcus to make fall center pieces with leaves. Maybe now that Haley isn’t in school, they will do that again. Hopefully it’ll make Haley want to come to dinner more often. Connie did have a thought about homeschooling Haley but one of us has to call someone and find out if you can do that for college. Bob is doing really well at work. He has invented a new folding pattern that he hopes to patent. Fingers crossed! Marcus is doing so well at Best Buy. His boss seems really pleased with him. He doesn’t have a girlfriend yet but we’re working on that! Connie wants to be a Grandma and imagines Bob as a Grandpa! Holy Smokes!!! If any of you readers know any nice girls (except you Elaine, we said nice!! LOL) let us know! As for Peg, she is just a ray of sunshine in our lives. She is currently down the shore with Madge. Don’t worry, we have bail money, LOL!! We went down to the shore last month (Sea Isle!) and had a very relaxing time. As for Connie, she is just trying to keep everyone together. Oh and she is still volunteering at the library. That is all for now, drop by anytime. Our house and kitchen are always open! Oh, I want a puppy!! Shhhhh, Bob doesn’t know!
As we write this we each realize once again how blessed we all are. Life continues to have its “ups and downs”, but overall there is a great deal to be grateful for. We see again the truth that even in dealing with adversity we grow. The important things are still love, forgiveness and friendship. We spent years not talking to our neighbors the McDougalls, and after their poor family dog Sparkles was hit by an Audi last month – well, reaching out to them has made us realize that friendship is more important than an old grudge. Our thoughts are with the McDougalls during this holiday season.
Our love and warmest regards,